clearly i’m about 200 days behind on the girls’ 300 days project. the images are sitting in my files waiting to be shared… and waiting for an album to be made. these little girls are growing so fast & i’m trying, & sometimes failing, at keeping up with them! i’m trying to enjoy life with them & not worry about the world they are growing up in. trying to protect their little hearts & teach them to make good decisions. i’m trying to be a good example & really put them first.
i’m finding it very difficult to blog much with the state of the world. i feel like it’s selfish, or frivolous, or something… i just can’t figure out where to start. i’m trying to figure out how to make sense of things & every time olivia asks me a question i realize that i do not have life all figured out!
we have a policy of not telling the girls lies when they have real questions. they see us watching the news & want to know… “why are those people crying”… “why is the ocean on that house”… “where is ‘livia’ (libya)”…”do only bad people go to jail & have wars”? i just don’t believe in telling them a lie. i feel like if we start down that road they’ll grow up thinking that babies come from a stork & one day think i’m a big-fat liar when they get “the talk”-and hopefully not before then from school or something, i cringe at the thought… anyhow, a liar is not exactly the way i’d like for my children to think about me! so, i try to tell them the simplest, gentlest, honest truth. i tell them that there was a big “earth shake” in japan like in their movie, ‘the land before time’. that it made big waves in the ocean that came too far on land where it didn’t belong. i explain that the people are crying because they’re sad… and afraid… and some of them have lost things that are very important to them. olivia looked at me with her big, hazel eyes & asked if people died… and i told her the truth. and i explained that just because people have wars, doesn’t make them bad. and that sometimes people do bad things, and make bad decisions. and sometimes bad things happen to good people for no good reason at all… and i tried not to get into the politics & history of the world & the injustice of the holocaust or the sadness of segregation, but in the back of my mind i knew she’d ask about that one day too. i don’t have all of the answers, how do i explain any of it to her? so, i held her little hands & we prayed for them… all of them. she usually ends a prayer with “and all the people of the world, amen” and i feel more than ever now that all the people of the world can use each & every one of those prayers.