these last two weeks have been rough…
fact about me: i am very goal oriented! i’m a list maker! i thrive by accomplishing things and checking them off of my list! sometimes i add things to my list that i’ve accomplished and check them off just to remember what i’ve done…i know it’s dorky, but i love being a list-making-goal-oriented-accomplishment-thriving-freak-of-nature!
so…i started getting sick two weeks ago. harper had a baby cold, and i knew it was only a matter of time before it did a cycle through our house…all that loving on her & snuggling with her gave me her cold too. i tried to take care of harper and myself & watched livi closely so that we could zap any cold germs before she became infected with something. i had a session that i’d made an exception to my “no sessions in january” rule for. i thought i was feeling better & even though it was below freezing & the session was a “play in the snow family extravaganza” i thought i could bundle up and suck it up enough to do the family session. i was so wrong. everyone was freezing the entire time…i was lucky enough to get enough great shots of the cute family. then, i was unlucky enough to get a nasty sinus infection. i work almost everyday…and i never watch tv during the day…and i never lay in bed during the day. i was feeling so rotten! i was all snotty and achy and at the low point i sounded like a man for about a week. then i had to reschedule two appointments with clients…that sucked! i hate rescheduling things! i hate letting people down! i hate being sick! i hate the feeling of not accomplishing things, not checking things off my list, not meeting my goals! it was kind of pathetic, but i did manage to watch the entire 5th season of grey’s anatomy, so i guess you could say that i accomplished something…thank you netflix! i prayed to get well, to keep O & A well, and that HL had really gotten well as quickly as it seemed!
just as i was starting to really feel like myself again andrew was packing for a week in d.c. to attend the national prayer breakfast. we’d both been invited and for some crazy reason that i cannot remember right now i forfeited my ticket and chose to stay home instead of attending a really cool week of events & a breakfast event that the president actually takes time to attend…crazy huh! the morning that he left i woke up to him running into our room at 4am because our heater had stopped working. great! just what i need at 4am, on a sunday, when i’m sick, andrew is leaving town, and have two littles to keep warm!!! thankfully before he had to leave at 5am to catch his flight he got it working again…between A & prayer magical things happen all the time! then his ride did not pick him up…yes, his ride, or non-ride, currently resides at the top of my pooh list-the very top!!! so, our week got off to kind of a bad start. then, i found out that i was in fact not better and tried to get through the week without the regular help of A that i am used to! he puts the girls to bed, gets them up in the morning, takes O to school, helps with the laundry & dishes, he is super-dad…when he’s not out of town or making me crazy because he is here! i didn’t do well. i raised my voice more than i should, i didn’t cook much more than oatmeal for breakfast…i had a bad mommy week. i apologized to my littles when i lost patience with them and i apologized to andrew when i told him how it was his fault that i was having such a hard time. andrew sent me a huge, gorgeous bouquet of roses to get my spirits up and i was so overwhelmed with life that i couldn’t admire them as lovingly as i normally would. i love flowers, and i wasn’t freaking out over the most wonderful flowers that i’ve ever gotten…something was so wrong and it wasn’t anyone elses problem, it was me! i drug myself to the bible study that i love so much and have been missing lately. for the first time in months i left HL in the nursery and she happily crawled away from me to find a toy. she didn’t freak out or cry & scream that i was leaving her. she let me go to bible study in peace…it was a miracle that i was so thankful for! we are doing this book called “no other Gods” about putting God at the center of our lives. it’s been really helpful & timely for me since last year i was crazy enough to start a business in a down economy with a nursing baby and a three-year-old…who does that?! i need to be reminded of my priorities…they easily get totally out of whack. i sat and listened to the ladies share. i finally figured out that i was so frustrated & overwhelmed & discouraged because i wasn’t accomplishing anything. i have a hard time when things are stagnant. i let myself get so busy that i can’t function if i’m not busy, if i’m not getting things done, if there’s not something to do. i do well under pressure & in chaos. i’d forgotten how wonderful it is to relax and not have anything to do…and that it’s ok if there is a lot to do and i’m not checking any of it off my list. i forgot to remember that loving my family well is a huge accomplishment that is the biggest & best part of life. i had forgotten that if i’m not putting them first, even above myself, that i can’t accomplish anything else and even if i can it doesn’t matter! it was a welcome revelation! sometimes i think we’re allowed to get taken out of the game to gain perspective! i’m so glad that is all over…i’m so glad for my new perspective…and that i know to apologize to my family when i’m wrong. i spent almost two weeks feeling sick. i had a hard time taking care of my littles and a very hard time having the physical and mental energy to take care of anything else. now i kind of like being taken out of the game…bring on the grey’s!
i don’t really believe in “new years resolutions” i really believe more in life resolutions. in college i started making lists of things i wanted, things i wanted to accomplish, things i want to see & do…i love my lists! when i started writing a new business plan for 2010 i started examining my lists. i have a lot of things in life that i want to do & see & get…big things like building water wells in african villages & really inconsequential things like chanel bags. for a little accountability i’m sharing my list. some things have no end…i can’t check something off my list because the goal is to do them regularly. the life resolutions are posted in the “about” section too, in case you want to see if i’m actually getting anything done…
1. graduate from college 12/2002
2. finish a marathon 4/2002
3. get married 10/2003
4. use my passport 11/2009
5. go to paris 11/2009
6. go to the top of the eiffel tower 11/2009
7. have a baby 5/2006
8. go to turkey
9. go to india
10. go to africa
11. take a beach trip with A 11/2005
12. visit our family condo in hawaii 5/2008
13. have my eyes lasered
14. learn to lap swim 3/2005
15. finish a triathlon 9/2005
16. build a house
17. adopt
18. read the entire bible 12/2001
19. ice climb 12/2002
20. have regular dates with A
21. take my littles on dates
22. go through all my magazines
23. make a quilt for O
24. make a quilt for H
25. make a quilt of all of my sorority t-shirts
26. go to st. croix with my whole family
27. take my littles to disney
28. get a real camera 11/2007
29. start taking photography classes 11/2007
30. take every january off work 2010
31. spend more time with my family than working
32. build homes for others
33. go on a TOMS shoe drop
34. get the chanel coco cocoon
35. take 300 days of pictures of my littles in 2010
36. read my entire bible again
37. pray for my family & friends everyday
38. tell A that i love him everyday, even when i don’t like him
39. tell O & H that i love them everyday
40. read to my littles everyday
41. go on vacation with my mom
42. visit my sister in germany 11/2009
43. visit my sister in canada
44. print, frame, hang more family pictures in our house
45. finish O’s baby book
46. make HL a baby book
47. do a one-on-one with someone i admire
48. make A’s fave cookies 1/mo
49. make A’s fave dinner 1/mo
50. cook for my family 3-4/week
51. put the laundry away the same day
52. stay off the computer when my littles are awake
53. use my business to support the needs of others
54. finish another ½ marathon
55. finish another triathlon
56. pay back our family all the $$ they’ve invested in my business
57. book 10 weddings in a year by 2015
58. do one wedding/yr for free
59. pay for a well through living water international
60. go with living water international to put in a well
61. run from town-my house…it’s up hill the whole way
62. ride from town-my house…it’s up hill the whole way
63. fast from tv for 40 days
64. read the twilight series
65. get invisilign
66. have a preventative mastectomy & reconstruction
67. follow/document a breast cancer patient 9/2009-?/2010
68. teach livi to make scrambled eggs
69. meet with my FOCUS group yearly
70. do a beach destination wedding
71. make a “real” office in my house
72. ride my bike to dmr
73. feed my family only organic meat & dairy products 1/2010
74. feed my family organic meat, dairy, fruits, & veggies
75. give someone else a compliment everyday
76. redecorate the living room
77. redecorate our bedroom
78. there will be more…come back soon…
I’d even pay! Do you know when you will be in OK again? I still want pics!!
by Jan
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